3 Reasons Why Traditional Goal Setting Doesn’t Work

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As I stand at the cusp of a new year, the air is filled with the promise of fresh beginnings, resolutions, and the opportunity for transformation. Like many, I've entered previous years armed with lists of goals, only to find myself disheartened and veering off course as February unfolds. In this personal exploration, let's delve into the reasons why traditional goal-setting often falls short and uncover the transformative strategies that promise lasting change.

A Visionary Rediscovery:

"If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time." - Zig Ziglar

My journey begins with the profound realization that lacking a clear vision is a surefire path to stagnation. As the CEO of A Gentle Feast and a certified Christian life coach, I've experienced the ebb and flow of life's demands that can obscure our visions. It's time to rekindle the dreams we held as children, those visions of what our lives could be.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being in high school. Then, when I was in high school, I dreamed of learning to drive and graduating and going to college. The next thing was marriage and children. I found once I was in my 30’s and raising kids, I lost my ability to dream along the way. I didn't have any more vision and purpose and direction, and it wasn't until I went to this goal-setting seminar and just got a fire again for what could be possible. 

It's really key to wake up to who God has created you to be and the potential that you have in your life. In Ephesians 5:10, it says, "Wake up, Sleeper, let Christ shine on you. Be careful how you live. Make the most of every opportunity." I really feel like the enemy can just lull us to sleep. We kind of just drift from one year to the next. We don't have clarity or direction, and we're not being the people that God has created us to be and making the impact that He wants us to make, because we're kind of lulled asleep with all the different expectations of responsibilities and things that we have going on. When we don't have clarity about where we're going and what we want--when we stop dreaming--it makes goal setting really difficult.

Before you start setting goals, I want you to dream. Let's say it's the end of 2033 right now, and you are sitting there celebrating New Year's Eve with your family. What do you want to have accomplished? How do you want to feel? What are some things you have wanted to experience? Setting that dream and spending some time journaling - getting to know yourself. I had to go through that process because, honestly, I forgot how to have fun. At some point I just forgot what I actually like to do. My counselor encouraged me to list ten things that I like to do, or wanted to learn to do (maybe some things that I had liked to do as a child that I didn't do anymore). That was such a challenging task for me because I really had shut down that part of me. That was really contributing to my lack of joy in life; my lack of being able to have fun, to tune into the part of me that God made me to be. By shutting that all down, it creates a life that none of us really are too excited to wake up to. The first step, I believe, in setting effective goals is coming up with a vision, the clarity of where you want to be, what direction you're headed.

Embracing the Journey of Change:

The second stumbling block in traditional goal-setting lies in our innate resistance to change. I speak from the heart when I highlight the necessity of personal growth and the formidable challenges that arise when we step out of our comfort zones. We are creatures of habit, gravitating naturally towards what feels safe and familiar. However, the journey towards achieving our goals demands a willingness to change — our thoughts, habits, and behaviors.

Reflect with me on the person you are today and the person you need to become to achieve your goals. The transformational journey requires a shift in mindset, and I address the fears and doubts that often accompany this process. Together, let's explore the role of mindset in facilitating goal achievement and the empowerment that arises from embracing change.

Clarity and a Compelling "Why":

The final pitfall of traditional goal-setting is the lack of clarity and a compelling "why." Vague goals, devoid of measurable outcomes and timelines, set us up for disappointment. I challenge you to make our goals specific, measurable, and time-bound, ensuring we can track our progress and celebrate our achievements. Avoid goals like “I want to get healthy” because there is no way to know if we have achieved something that vague. In order to set goals that stick, we have to have a solid reason why we want to achieve that specific goal. That allows us to pinpoint the specifics of how to measure whether we are achieving it or not. 

A compelling "why" becomes the driving force behind our goals. I echo Tony Robbins' sentiment that our "why" needs to be so meaningful that it makes us cry. This emotional connection to our goals provides the motivation needed to overcome obstacles, doubts, and fears that may arise on the journey. This could look like having an emotional, personal reason for setting a goal to run a 5k. Do you want to run a 5k just to have something to do? That motivation will probably not last very long. Running every day to prepare for a 5k will have more longevity if you decide to run because you want to set an example of health, wellness, and self-care for your children. Or, perhaps, you want to be healthier so you can have energy and stamina to go run and play with your kids. 

Quite honestly, reaching the goal is great, but the journey means so much more. The process that it is going to take, the growth that's going to have to happen within you to reach that goal is going to change the trajectory of your life. That's going to change the person that you become, and the great thing about reaching little goals like this is that it has a compounding effect. As you learn to do one thing and develop new habits that are going to lead to this goal, you realize now you can accomplish this. It kind of has the snowball effect. The opposite is also true. When we make goals that are vague or don't mean anything to us, with no timeline, we're not willing to put in the effort to grow and change. Then we are discouraged and start to think we will never be able to be successful or create the life of our dreams. We give up on ourselves way too easily, and we don't ever see these things through. The problem is not necessarily us and what we’re doing, it is the fact that the goals were just wrong to begin with. 

Taking Action: Propel Your Goals Forward:

In conclusion, this personal exploration serves as a call to action for you and me to rethink our approach to goal-setting. By embracing a visionary mindset, acknowledging the need for personal growth, and creating clear, meaningful goals, we can break free from the shackles of traditional goal-setting and unlock lasting change in our lives. As we stand on the brink of a new year, let's embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and the fulfillment of our deepest aspirations.