Episode 16 FINAL
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Welcome to the Feast Life, where we empower you, the modern homeschool mom, to create a life and homeschool you love, one founded on faith, family, freedom, and fun. I'm your host Julie Ross, creator of the award winning homeschool curriculum, A Gentle Feast, and a certified Christian life coach. For more information on today's episode and to access my free gift for you, check out thefeastlife. me. Charlotte Mason once said, life should be all living, not a mere tedious passing of time. So on this show, we seek to savor the feast of life. Girl, grab your favorite beverage and pull up a chair. You are welcome at this table.
Julie Ross: Hey, everyone. I'm your host, Julie Ross, and I'm here today with Amber Johnston, and I am so excited because we are going to be talking about her new book. And wow, what an accomplishment. I'm so proud of you. Can I just say that? Yeah. I can't imagine the amount of work and time and process that has been for you.
Just in case anyone watching is not familiar with your work. Can you just give us a little background of who you are, your kind of homeschool journey and story and then what you've been working on recently.
Amber Johnston: Sure. So I'm Amber O'Neill Johnston. Some people know me as Heritage Mom, and I am a, I have, I'm married to Scott.
We have four kids. They are 12, 10, 8, and 6. We live in, outside of Atlanta, Georgia. And we've been homeschooling from the beginning using the principles of Charlotte Mason, and I spend a lot of time speaking and writing about, I would say like diversifying the feast. That's the easier way of talking about it.
So expanding taking all that we've been doing as a Charlotte Mason community, but as we've been learning more about her philosophy, but expanding some of the ideas to fit our 21st century American children. And the lives that they're living today and the things and skills and experiences and.
That they need to have and people they need to meet. So that's my passion and I've been blogging for years about these things and other things usually related to, educating the children. So books a lot, sure, but also art and poetry and other things. And people were always asking me questions and I'm like, oh gosh.
Let me pull this blog post from three years ago for you or something like that. And here, or here's an explanation or wow, you're coming in the middle and you haven't really heard my whole shtick before. And so I thought, I really want to get my thoughts out there in a logical way where someone has right before them, the opportunity to look at.
My whole philosophy from the beginning to the end and how it plays out in my family as an example and how it could play out in theirs. And so I wrote the book. It's called a place to belong celebrating diversity and kinship in the home and beyond. And that's what I've been working on, because it was a lot more than I ever.
Ever anticipated.
Julie Ross: Yeah. Yeah. I can only imagine how long has it been that you've been working on it?
Amber Johnston: Okay. So I had six months to write it and then I know it was not much time. It was a very, it was at a very fast clip. And the only thing, good thing I can say about that is it was really difficult.
And so at least I only had. Six months of that type of lifestyle.
Julie Ross: Yeah, it's being pregnant, right? It's only that much. Yes!
Amber Johnston: It's let me do this. Yeah, it's, yes. And so I ripped the band aid off and for that, I'm thankful now that I'm on the other side of it. And then, months of editing and so on, and now just trying to get the word out.
But yeah, actually six months of writing and I got a chance to see what the life of an author is like. And I have. So much respect for so many people now. I knew they were great, but now I'm like, Oh my gosh, like you're amazing. My whole family was on board with it because it shook up. Yeah. It shook up the household.
Julie Ross: I guess it's good. That was only like six months. Yes. A year or so that it was shaking up. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Normal here. So what would you, I love the title, by the way, a place to belong. I think that is so important. And I one of the quotes you wrote about that, am I allowed to read quotes equal to that?
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. You wrote every child longs for a place to belong, a place for cultural awareness, self acceptance. Yeah. Yeah. Celebration and kinship are the norm, and this natural yearning for affiliation and attachment is best satisfied within the context of home and family life. Home is where lifelong attitudes are rooted and affirmed, where children are the values that will inform how they move throughout the world.
At times, those values are overtly taught, and at other times, they're subtly caught. And I love that like playing words are really taught. Because really what you're talking about and what you're talking about is like the atmosphere of home. And how important that is in shaping the person that they're going to become more so than what mathematic book you choose, or if you read through all the books that you had put on the program for the year, what is going to make one of the most powerful impacts is this atmosphere of home.
Can you unpack that a little bit of have you approached that in this kind of concept of belonging and how that home life really does affect that.
Amber Johnston: Yes, I think that what was beginning to happen or probably has always been going on, but in recent years has really bubbled to the top is this kind of divisive state that our country is living in where people are feeling the need to like really take sides and all of these articles and books were coming out a lot of them from experts and academics and journal articles and I was reading all of this like how do I Help my children to thrive to be able in equal parts, to love who they are, but while also loving their sisters and brothers across the world.
And things were clicking with me here and there, but I'm like, but what am I supposed to do in my house though? They all seem so theoretical or if you were out in the business world, things you could do, or if you're just only around other adults, these are the things you could do. And I was.
Struggling with but what does that mean for me as a mom in my house this afternoon? And so I, as I was thinking through that, I thought, a lot of what I think that I need to be doing with my children in this moment, I are things I'm already doing, but I hadn't been thinking through them enough to say, That this is an actual thing.
And so I thought it is, it's the home atmosphere. Like I am an activist because I'm choosing to raise my children to be different. And I thought not only am I doing this, but my friends are also doing this. And I looked across the board and yes, my black friends are doing this.
But my brown friends are doing this and my white friends were doing this. And I thought, okay, I think that there's something here that isn't being spoken of out loud enough. It's not getting the attention, but the power of a mother and a father and what we're doing in our homes and how that's going to impact the world.
And so I I think that's often overlooked ah, whatever, and so I thought,
Julie Ross: even to us real experts, cause we actually know what we're talking about.
Amber Johnston: And I was just like, okay so what about the next generation too? We're talking so much about this and that and what's happening right now and are, and all the nastiness on social media and all.
And I'm just like, but there's a generation of parents who are reclaiming. Their relationship with their children and our placing value on home. And I'm like, you know what we're doing something here, guys. And I like, let's talk about it and let's tell other people about it. And cause I think we can be a little bit quiet, but we're powerful.
And I wanted to like, bring that power out.
Julie Ross: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That's great. Show me senior talks a lot about the atmosphere of home. There's a quote that I thought related to what you're talking about in the book. I'm from an appearance review article called the atmosphere home, but it said, there's nothing in the way of direct teaching that will ever have so wide and lasting effect as the atmosphere of home.
And the thought concerning this is that there's nothing to learn and nothing to teach. It comes from ourselves. It is ourselves. It's what they're living and breathing in all the time. And then he says we could deceive ourselves, but we can't deceive our children. And but they pick up on this atmosphere from it's much more than teaching and infinitely more than talk.
So I thought of that quote when I was like reading some of your book too, that if our actions aren't lining up with our words and the choices of. Books and the choices of decisions that we're making in our family's lives aren't lining up with what we say. We believe our Children aren't going to be deceived.
Amber Johnston: It's true. I think that Children are truth bearers and sometimes to our dismay, but they're honest and they can see through hypocrisy in ways that People who've been trained to look beyond it or to make excuses, children don't do that. And it's interesting because, a lot of times parents will say, do as I say, not as I do.
And I remember going to the seminar once and the woman said, but actually children are monkey see monkey do, it's not so much about what you're. Paying lip service to, yes, it's important to tell our children what we believe and to teach them those things. Sure. But it's what we do and what they see us doing and our character that they pick up on and that's what they carry with them.
And it's so critical during this period where they really are developing their identity. And I feel like that's big portion of my backstory where I was so focused on perfectly executing my child's lessons in this beautiful, magnificent way. And as I think back, they really were beautiful.
They just were incomplete. And I was focused more on swimming and what I felt was the beauty of her education. This is my oldest when she was younger, rather than swimming and the beauty of who she was. And I didn't teach her anything. Bad. I didn't need to undo things that I had shown her and taught her things that she had learned.
With me, but I needed to expand upon them in order to bring out the fullness of who we are. And that really, when I saw okay, when that clicked for me and I started doing that, I realized that it's the same for everyone. For me, it was really about our culture and our background as African Americans.
But for other people, it could be something else, the way their child learns or their family situation or where they live. And I thought really all of our children wants to be seen and valued. All of our children want to hear that. I see you and I like what I see. And I think that when when my daughter started getting what she needed in that way, she really started growing closer to people who are very different than us.
And I was like, huh, okay. So that's, it's like the opposite. It's like the more, the better she felt about herself. The more loving and kind she was to other people. And I said, okay, this is it right here. She needs a place to belong. All of our children need a place to belong. You and I, Julie, we need a place to belong.
And when we feel rooted in where we belong, we can spread wide branches out to other people. And that's like a big overarching message of my book.
Julie Ross: Yeah. Yeah. And I love that. And I appreciated your vulnerability. I felt that really came across and especially in the first couple chapters, just sharing about your daughter's experience and feeling like, okay, you say that you value this, but the books that we're reading and the things that we're doing don't really value this mom.
Wow, what.
Amber Johnston: I know. And she's still like that, right? Who, I'm like, where did this kid come from? And so I'm always, there's always borderline. I'm always giving her side eye and I've told her before I need to sit with what you just said before I respond. That's great. Wow. Yeah. Cause sometimes she can, her little truth telling can break something inside of me.
And that was, one of those times I was pricked and I feel like the Lord used my daughter to show me. His truth in a lot of ways of that. He, how he created her and I wasn't necessarily seeing her as an individual that he created, but more as the product of this beautiful gift that I could lay out before her.
And so I think in my case, we often talk about people who don't know anything about Charlotte Mason's philosophy. And then it's like Eureka, now, when you're bringing in the fullness, but for me, my story was You also can be living in the fullness without really on without really understanding the, all of it, so I was doing all of the things that I saw from the outside, but I hadn't done the things that stir up your heart and the things that really create that lasting change in your home. So it just took me a minute, but I got on board and I saw that, it's so much more than just what. I can even see in, in, in a blog post or hear someone talking about, it's so bigger than that. It's much more expansive.
Julie Ross: And I think people can we locked into okay, here's the box of the things that we have to do and feel pressure to stay there without realizing that we're growing alongside our children, that this is a process we're all learning and growing. So I haven't figured this all out yet.
The more I read, the more I'm exposed to the different life circumstances that I'm, I'm not the same person I was when I started homeschooling 17 years ago. But I'm growing and I'm evolving too. And that's the kind of space that I want to create for you as well. And I think your book kind of touches on that, that, we're in this process together and that we're going to have these difficult conversations and go through these difficult experiences.
Together, which I thought was really key because I think sometimes I think it was more so in homeschooling started or when I first started homeschooling of this we're leaving society, like we're going to shelter children and, just instill everything that we believe in them.
And we're not going to. Expose them to anything that's different. We're in, and then this is going to protect them and keep them safe and have them grow up to be people that are going to change the world. I don't really understand looking back. I'm like, they can go, but I think there's still part of that's still there and that undercurrent, and rather than, okay, no, I want, I'm going to tell the troll my children, these are the things I believe. These are the things I value. These are the things that are important to our family, but I also want you to think For yourself. So I'm going to expose you to these ideas and I'm willing to create a space where we can have hard conversations and you talked about that in your book.
So can you touch more a little bit about that as well?
Amber Johnston: Yeah, I think that there is this feeling of like separateness, like we're meeting. I think a lot of it comes from fear, because we may see people that we either don't understand or we see something about their culture, their community that we don't necessarily value and don't, we're fearful that if our children learn about these people's ways or about what someone does here, that they may want to do those things too, I think is where part of that fear comes from.
But the thing is that's not typically whatever happens. And so what I'm trying to propose is that. We can get to know each other and connect. On the level of like humanity and say, I respect you. Like I, your story is important to me. I want to know and to grow with you as another citizen of this world.
But at the same time, I don't have to agree with you about everything. And I think that's where we run into a lot of things. It's I disagree with this person on this thing. So therefore I reject them. It's like when I'm looking at reviews on book sites, like Amazon and other sites, and I'll like a lot of times go to the one star reviews just to try to figure out what's really going on.
And, it'll be like a 450 page book. And they're like on page 27. This author said something that I disagree with one star and I'm like the whole
Julie Ross: book out, there was nothing beneficial at all, right?
Amber Johnston: It's just wow. So if we're not perfectly aligned and everything, then I can't get any value from this.
And I can't get, I have nothing to take and nothing to give. And I just want my children to be different. And I want to be different. And I think that a part of it is born on the fact that a lot of times. I'm on the outside. Like I'm the person, my family, we're the people that the other people don't want to be around and don't want to include.
And I've experienced Oh my gosh, that's like that level of pain is so deep that I think, okay. I never want to be the person that does that to someone else. And man, I don't want my children to ever, I don't care who they are, never make someone feel the way you've been made to feel. And so I think that's where like at the root of it is there.
And I'm thinking even if you don't agree with me or you're unfamiliar with me or whatever, that feeling of isolation or wanting to be away from me or Feeling like I'm not someone that you want to do life with. I'm like, we can't do that to other people. So I feel like a lot of times when things like that happen in your life, you either become like that person and you're like they hurt me.
So I'm going to also hurt other people or you think now I know how that feels. So I'm going to do everything in my power to. To not do that. And I think that's where it comes from for me. So I feel like I've challenged myself. I don't care how different I am or how many how someone's views different from me.
I still can find something to connect with that person about. If it's a woman, I connect with you and your womanhood or your motherhood, or I can connect with you as an entrepreneur or as someone who grew up loving to be with their grandparents a lot. There are these experiences that can transcend politics and yes, even religion, though I hold my faith deeply.
I still can connect with. The humanity in you. And yeah, I think those are the things that were like swirling around and I felt like I wanted to read more about things like that. And I couldn't find a book that spoke directly to that space. And that's
Julie Ross: I don't know of any and not one that teaches.
Parents on how to do that. Like you're saying, I, I've read a lot of social things, but here's what you do in your house. I haven't seen that. And I like on this point, one of the quotes that stuck out to me was you said I've witnessed parents who resist teaching their children about anyone with a different worldview because they're afraid that the undesirable aspects of a cultural or people group or rub off on their kids.
The thing is, I've never heard of that happening, and it feels far fetched at best, especially if your children are regularly grounded in your family's values. Many parents are okay with introducing their kids to recipes and songs from other countries, but their fear of digging into what others believe and how they see the world is so palpable that it can almost be mistaken for scorn.
I get that it can be scary to consider that our children may form their own thoughts about something once they know there are options. Some parents may not like that idea. But ultimately, our kids Are not us. Yes. Yeah, so important. If what you're just touching on here, and I think again like you said like things have to be age appropriate right but we are.
Are we enabling them to think critically from their own opinions, which is what Charlotte Mason was talking about, they have to have the ability to reason right and to go, Okay, I value this I don't buy you this I agree with this I don't read this but again like you're saying like she taught you value other people.
You value people. And the reason that we're reading about these things are, her programs were very limited. And I totally acknowledge that the book options she had to choose from were very limited, but when you read why she taught so many foreign languages or why she wanted them to read these geography travel books was because she did have a heart for the world.
And for bringing people together.
Amber Johnston: And I feel like that's what I pull from her. So when people say Oh, Charlotte Mason is whitewashed and all, it breaks my heart a little bit because I feel like no one has scrubbed harder than I have to prove or disprove that because I don't want that for my kids, but I'm thinking over and I'm like, no.
That's not it. In fact I would ask someone to share, to show me another educational philosophy that values people and other people, not just her own people, more than what she did. So the, what we can look at is like the books and all is sure of her time, that's where she was in her time and place.
But if we take those ideas and apply them to our time and place, They're incredible. Even today, all of these years later, they're incredible. And that I feel is what I hang my hat on. Like I can stand behind this educational philosophy and bring it into my home and let it seep through all that we're doing.
Because I actually believe that. At the heart of the matter. She had a love and appreciation for others and whether that, her book list is not going to look like my 2022 American book list, right? But what she gave us was freedom. That's what she was forward thinking enough that she didn't say this is the set of books.
Do it or
Julie Ross: not thinking, yeah,
Amber Johnston: she was like, she knew that things would change and shift and move. And she, through her writing, she talks about things like a mother's intuition. She talks about freedom. She refuses to nail down this like rock hard book list. I'm thinking like all of these things are actually working and the exact opposite of what some people are trying to make it seem like.
She represented. And I also think, yes, there are times where some of us have interpreted her words in our own way. And that might Look not diverse at all, but even in those times, there's something to value there. And I think like now we are learning more and we're all growing, like you said.
And I think things are changing. And I guess I just want to be part of that change. That's where I really see my role. I want to be the person that can tell other moms, like it's okay for you. To show up at your table with your kids. . In fact, you, that's what this whole thing is about.
Julie Ross: Yeah. I love that too.
And focusing on yourself and digging into your self identity first, which honestly, like you mentioned, like family trauma and stuff. For some people that's just downright scary. . Yeah. Yes, for sure. . Okay. I don't know if I wanna go there. I don't know if I wanna, how far I wanna dig . Yeah. Let's leave those skeletons in the closet.
Thank you very much. You have to come to a grip with who you are as a person, because that's what's showing up every day for your children, right? And the example that You are setting, I believe I'm a beautiful person. I believe I'm a person worth respecting and the belief that my story is important.
Here's why your kids pick up on that, whether you say that or not.
Amber Johnston: They do, or they pick up on the opposite. Yeah. What are, what we, what goes unsaid or what we think if we don't talk about this, then my kids won't know about it. But instead they, they fill in the blanks themselves. And so instead of getting the story from you, they still got the story, but it's probably not, the purest form of the story that they would have gotten if you guys had just talked about it.
And I think that that family storytelling. And in the book, I talk about something that researchers call it your intergenerational self, which is the idea that you know that you are part of something bigger than just this moment, or even just the family you live in your house with, but that there were people who came before you and they did things, they did cool things and fun things.
They had hard times and they struggled. They persevered and sometimes they faltered mightily, but like here you are. And so I think that the researchers said that the researchers that studied this specifically that I talk about in the book. So that children who have that strong sense of enter intergenerational self, feel the most positive about their family and their futures about themselves.
And so I really have clung to that as one of the aspects of having a plate, creating a place to belong. is rooting your children and who they are and the stories of their people. And yes, part of the story is cultural, but some of the examples I give, where your grandparents met and, do you know where your mom went to school?
Why she named you, what she named you, your parents first date. All of these types of things. That are speak to who you are and the people you come from. And I think that for some people you mentioned where their past is so traumatic or for other people, they just don't know. They don't have access to those stories.
I suggest in the book to start today, create. What will be your children's history later today. So it's about the way you start talking about things and the value you place on things. Like maybe you start a family cookbook. I know on Tuesdays, this is our favorite meal. We always have taco Tuesdays. Here's why, here's a picture of us doing it.
All of these different things that can seem mundane are not important. If you present them as being important to your children, they'll hold on to those. And those are the rungs of the ladder on which they'll build their story. So it doesn't have to go back generations and generations.
It may be what you did last week, right? Yeah. I think that really helps so that it levels the playing field and no one has to feel like they can't do this.
Julie Ross: Yeah. And you talk in there too. I think one of the chapters was like about the proverb, like it takes a village to raise a child and, before generations, they lived close by.
You might all live on the. family homestead or you might all live in the same town. And so they were constantly interacting with grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. And you knew your family story, like you would sit around the fire at night because there wasn't Netflix and you would tell stories, but we're all so far removed from each other.
In our modern times that we lose that part of our identity. So I think that's really important that you mentioned that children need that, and that does help them in their identity and the importance of you were talking about mirrors and we'll go deeper into that, but like they, they need that reflection of themselves.
And so knowing part of who their story is actually very calming and helpful for children as they grow and they have those for sure. Oh, one of the quotes that I thought of while you were talking was you I love that Maya Angelou quote about when you know better, you do better.
Yeah. Did I say that correctly?
Amber Johnston: Yeah. So basically, yeah, that's the, that's my better phrase. And I'm not as
Julie Ross: eloquent.
Amber Johnston: That's basically what she's saying. And I feel like they're like, that was it's so graceful, because it's like, yeah, either I wasn't doing all that I could have or should have, or sometimes you just mess up.
Like sometimes we just mess up, but now it gets you're like, okay, I messed up, but look at me now. Like I have a chance to go a different way or to choose a different route. And I just love that. Articulating that we have permission to do this. We don't have to continue the same way that we were and that's with our Children and with ourselves and in a lot of different ways.
And I think it even Plays into kind of our, political or social life here today, like you might've said something at one point. I know I have I was really dogmatic about this one thing and now years later, a little embarrassed and I'm thankful that I still have those same friends and nobody's trying to throw me under the bus publicly.
Julie Ross: I'm really glad social media wasn't around when I was. Let me just, that's it.
Amber Johnston: And it's just wow. Like I, I did say those things and honestly, I'm not gonna, I meant it when I said it, but I don't believe those things are true anymore. And now I've, I have more information. I've matured. I've had more experiences and I actually changed my mind.
And now I actually think these things are more truthful and I'm sure I'll have another iteration like a snake that sheds its skin as it grows. But I think that's important that we don't feel as I guess as we start having those pricks in our hearts that we could do something different with our children, and that we don't just feel I already had it down this one way so I gotta just stick with it because you don't.
Today's episode is brought to you by A Gentle Feast. A Gentle Feast offers a complete living books curriculum, an award winning early reading program, and more tools to equip you to apply Charlotte Mason's timeless philosophy into your modern homeschool. Go to agentlefeast. com to check it out. Smooth and easy days are closer than you think.
Julie Ross: Yeah. And I love that you mentioned that because I think that can be hard to go, Oh, I never even thought about this before. I never even thought about the importance of the books that we were reading and what they were portraying or if my children are learning about people that are different than me.
It never even occurred to me, sure. And so I think a lot of people are like, Ooh, and then there's that guilt, right? And, but it's no. Now you know different. And now you can do different. And Amber's book will help you. I like the way you think, Julie. All right. So let's talk about and we talked about this a little bit on my last podcast.
We were talking about different books, but. Real briefly, explain the concept of not briefly, take your time, mirrors and windows here. So let's start with, let's start with mirrors. So things that are reflecting back to them, who they are.
Amber Johnston: Okay. So that's, the idea of mirrors or literary mirrors.
Those are books that your children conceive themselves in. And they're going to like, if it's a picture book, they might literally see themselves, so for my kids, a lot of those early books were the kids with those big hair, and they're like, mom, look, and I'm like, yes, girl, she has big hair too.
But it could be them seeing a family, an extended family with the grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, as you mentioned, all around the table with a bunch of. Soul food in the middle of the table or whatever that can, they can say that's familiar or running around out back with the chickens, chasing chickens in the yard.
It could be different for each child, but a lot of times what I'm talking about is a cultural noticing of children who seem the same or people who have done things from within their own community. And I also focus in the book on. Stories of women that actually often go unheard and that, our boys need to hear that women have done some amazing things and they need to hear our stories as well.
So I think those are, that's the idea behind mirrors and the thought being that that allows children to connect with a book in a different way. And there are certain children who most of their books. we're seeing books are mirrors in a lot of different ways. And some children where none of them are.
And I guess I want to Less than that gap. And so that all children are having an opportunity at times to see themselves in the things that they read. Not everything though. That brings us to the next type of book, which I call windows.
Julie Ross: Oh, can we stop before I go to Windows? Okay. A few things that you said.
Yeah. So In terms of mirrors, one of the things I thought was really insightful was that the books that you're choosing that are reflecting back to them, that they're not all books about hardships and things that struggles, right? Can we just have a fun book where people that look like me are just sitting around playing basketball or eating soul food, like you're saying, right?
I don't need a story about some traumatic event in history. Let's just have a fun book where I see people like me doing the things that I do, right?
Amber Johnston: That's like very important to me. So just the idea that the joy of a community will come through, because I think that even in the hardest and most difficult circumstances, people still find joy.
You hear these stories where you left thinking, my gosh, they grasped on to a corner of joy in the midst of. Terror and destruction. And I'm like, that's part of, the human spirit that we're able to sustain during those times. And I want those stories to come to light too. And also because things are not perfect, but my children's day to day lives isn't.
Dripping in tragedy and trauma. And so for them to have a mirror, their mirror would be a mom and a dad and loving grandparents and a little puppy. And there's a lake across the road and the creek back behind. And my boys like to go fishing. Yeah. And, swinging on the hammock and going barefoot in the creek, those things are important too. And for a lot of people, they're like, yeah, what's the big deal? The big deal is you hardly ever see books with black people doing stuff like that. And that's where, I was starting to scratch my head and be like, hold on, wait a minute. A mirror could be a book on MLK.
Yes, that's important, but that's not what I'm talking. That's not the fullness of what I'm talking
Julie Ross: about. Yeah. And I wanted to bring up that because I thought that was Really important. And thankfully, I think the publishing industry is starting to change. Like I'm starting to see more and more of that in the books that have come out and years, which I'm very grateful for.
I'm sure you are too. Yeah. And in terms of talking about gender books I have four girls that was always like, that was on my radar initially. In terms of identity and stuff. Like I want to have, I want them to read books about girls that are doing amazing things and, girl scientists and, you can be whatever, that was always gone on my radar.
But I do have a son. And he read little women and you mentioned that in your book too, which made me laugh. But I think In his mind, it was never weird. It never occurred to him that, but like in my curriculum at General Feast, like I put, you can either read Little Women or you could read Joe's Boys.
Yes. Or my other, one of my other favorite female heroines is Anne of Green Gables. Yes. And oh, Anne of Green Gables, that's the one you mentioned in your book. Yes. And then, but I put a choice, like you could read Young Fu of the Upper Yancy instead, and so after reading that, I was like, That's interesting, because with my own son, I didn't give him the choice here's Anne of Green Gables, and he loved it.
And was hilarious. But that might just be because he grows up in a house with older sister. Yeah.
Amber Johnston: I think that the choice is fun because everybody is not there yet. And you do have people that are, some people are going to be like, what are you doing? These like titles of, these female protagonists time and time again.
But I think that's where again, I'm standing in that gap, looking to close that gap where I'm saying, Hey. A lot of our boys are getting the message that they can't read girl books. They're getting those messages from their parents. I didn't realize that, but I, in the, in my book, I share about a book club that I run and how strongly parents have come at me when I have picked a book that I'm expecting their boys to read that has a female protagonist.
And because my son also reads those, I have two boys and they also read these books. I hadn't thought of it that way. But when I saw, and serious as in we're we won't be there that month and things like that. They're like, I don't want my son reading books like that. Or my husband doesn't want my son reading books like that.
And I'm like, wow. And then later when they're adults, we're like saying, that men need to be more understanding of women and, that they need to respect them more.
Julie Ross: Good point. They're just going to ask. Pick that up through osmosis. I'm
Amber Johnston: like if they're cold, even at that young age, don't worry.
You don't have to read about their experiences. That's not important. You read about men and boys and what they experienced and that's fine. And so I'm just like, is it fine? Cause I don't think so. And the things that, you know I think that. I could unpack that more, but I think again, it comes back to fear, right?
There's something that they feel that they will trigger if they are allowing their kids to do that. And I don't think
Julie Ross: that's fair. Yeah. And I just thought if you had a book club and you were reading Harry Potter, they wouldn't be like, the girl parents wouldn't be like I'm sorry, we can't read that book because No, that never happened.
Protagonist. That never happens, right? Yeah.
Amber Johnston: So the whole year last year, which was, this was happening while I was writing the book. And so whenever we had a boy star in the book, a boy main character, the girls and boys, we had full attendance. And whenever we had a boy, a girl main character, most of the boys didn't come.
Wow. And the funny thing is the boys wanted to come, but the parents weren't allowing it. And that's why I'm talking to the parents in this book and I'm like, Hey, you're saying they're like, Oh, my, my son doesn't like reading that. And sometimes I think that really could be true. If I gave my son a choice between a book, two book covers, and there's like a boy writing a Right.
Next to a mountain lion. And there's like a girl.
He's going to choose that. I understand that. But I also think that part of it is the attitude. I never said. I need you to read this book about girls. I know it's a girl book. You can do it. So we just grab the next book off the shelf and we go on and. Women are people too, right? I think that it, there's work that we can do there with our
Julie Ross: boys.
Yes. So One of the things you said in your book about mirrors that I appreciated, which is you said while well intentioned the idea and if you don't mind touching on this idea of a colorblind library, you said, in which race is not a consideration when selecting books exposes children to the outdated theory that race based differences don't matter.
This ignores the reality of cultural differences and racism, leaving some children to feel unseen and unvalidated, while others are left without the vocabulary to examine and discuss their thoughts on race. And this was really spoke to me. Silence does two things, depending on the child. It breeds ignorance or feeds shame.
The way to raise children who appreciate But are not overly focused on the race of the characters and the people they read is to have a colorful shelves bookshelves full of color on these shelves diverse books are the norm. It is the exact opposite of a colorblind selection strategy. It is necessary because children are intelligent and absorb messages from the world around them yes they do right.
Colorblind shelves are usually homogeneous and children can interpret that lack of diversity as a lack of importance regarding the absent voices. Yeah.
Amber Johnston: So this is one of those areas where I've been attacked the most. And that is people who are saying, Amber, you should stop talking about all these diverse books, because what matters is the quality of the book and the character of the people that we're reading about.
And I'm like, yes. But see, when we aren't ever focused on diversifying the shelves because of our culture, our American culture and things just continue to be the same. And those stories that have been made into classics or even our contemporary books that are, valued for reading in a, superior education, they are mostly white.
And when they do have people of color in them, they're usually In undergoing some form of trauma. And so I'm saying we have to pay attention to it. I'm shining a light in it because eventually I won't have to, but right now I'm shining a light in it because we're repairing something. And when we get that repaired, we won't ever have to.
To really do that. And so to me, success is a very colorful bookshelf where our children actually aren't focused on race and color, because it's so normal to them that all of these people would be on the shelves all these. Characters that they won't even have to think about anymore. So it's almost like people are like, Amber, you thinking about this too much, that's wrong.
And I'm saying, no, I'm thinking about it a lot right now so that our kids won't have to think about it later. So I think ultimately I think I want the same thing as my critics. It's just that I believe that they think that the do nothing strategy is better. And I'm like, no, I ain't nobody got time for that.
Like I think we should do something and ultimately, we'll get there. So I think that's that's where I was coming from with
Julie Ross: that. Yeah. There was another part. Highlighted or try to cut and paste that I thought was so important was we were talking about like this do nothing that we're going to put our heads in the sand kind of approach to is that isn't preparing children for the world that they're going to live in.
We are living in a very diverse America we are living in a time where people are having these hard conversations are children are going to be prepared for that are they're going to be clueless. About how different people think and act.
Amber Johnston: Yeah, it's that exactly. And I think that's not fair.
We focus so much on all these other aspects of parenting and childhood, but yet so many people are willing to like shuttle the children out the door with this severe ignorance of people and who they are and how they operate in their experience. Okay. It's a little bit different than how your child experiences and stories and how they experienced the world, which can be very different than how your child experiences the world.
I also think, and I've said this a couple of times and it's a little bit. It's I'm saying it because it's true. And I don't mean to hurt people's feelings, but a lot of the people who are telling me that we shouldn't focus on colorful shelves. I'm looking at them and I'm like. But your kids see themselves reflected on the shelves and all the book lists all the time.
So you're telling me that I, my kids shouldn't have it. It's not important for my children or someone else's children to experience what your children experience. So you don't have to focus on it because. Yeah. You should, but you don't have to because there is no illness brewing in your home. So I think that, it just brings us back to listening to the stories of others.
And those you may not experience what I'm experiencing, but I'm telling you what it's like. And you should hear me as a mother and understand that, something has to change.
Julie Ross: Yeah, and I think, and that kind of ties into this windows that we'll go into that, it's important to hear other people's stories.
I think you mentioned, to that, books are great for that. It doesn't substitute from like the real life stories in the importance of that. We read brown good brown girl dreaming by Jackson. Yeah. I don't know if I mentioned this in the last podcast, but so I'll just tell you again, and maybe there's people who haven't heard this, but our town had her come speak.
And then we did like a book talk thing afterward. And I assumed it was for children because it's a children's book. So I take my kids and we're like the, they were like the only kids there. It was all adults, people that were well older than I am. And so in that book it takes place. In Greenville, South Carolina, where I used to live.
And so there were all these people that lived in Greenville in the fifties and sixties, mostly African American women who got up and shared their story. And it went on for well over two hours and we're all falling and crying, and just hearing these. People's hearts and how hard it was.
And, I wanted to go swimming more than anything else, but I wasn't allowed to swim there or, this store wouldn't allow us in the front door. Now, when I walked past that store, it was all I could see, but I just thought, wow, like my children are hearing stories from real people who live through this.
Anything they're going to read in some book is never going to compare with a real person and seeing their heartbreak and their story.
Amber Johnston: I think that is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Like you could, they read the book and there's value in that. So I'm like, yes, read brown girl dream training, but then going on and hearing these stories from people and their stories that are in a totally different time than where your kids are growing up now, but that connects them to the people telling the story.
They can connect. Even if I didn't experience that. I have, I can connect to that feeling that you're saying that you felt or that I know that you felt and that little trigger inside. That's my humanity that is connecting with yours and saying, wow. Thank you for sharing that with me, and that you're going to, I'm going to carry that story with me and it helps me understand you and people who have similar experiences just a little bit more.
And so I guess in my book, I'm like hunger for that. Whatever you can to get more of that more opportunities to hear these stories. And I think that's why the growth we talk about growth and learning never ends because we should be listening to these stories for the rest of our lives. And at the same time, we're telling our story.
Yes. And I think that's this. It's like a dance and I think there's a lot of beauty there.
Julie Ross: Yeah. So if we aren't able to have those stories in real life, then we need to include books for our children to read that kind of have this window. So can you explain
Amber Johnston: that? Yeah. So mirrors, you're looking and it's reflecting back windows, you're looking out.
into the world. And so books is windows literary windows, right? That those are the books that give our children a chance to see how other people live, how other people experience life and what they may think about situations and circumstances. And. Yes, you can see how they experienced historical circumstances, but also even today, what do they eat at their family celebrations?
What are their family's thoughts on friendships and marriage and relationships? And, how do they value education and what types, and all of these different things I think that our kids need that these books provide a foundation that allows them to have some type of understanding and, it, their windows can be more than just the books, but in our form of education, it's also our music and our art and other things, our poetry, those are all windows.
And just a quick example. I'll say when you think about music when I started, doing him study with my Children from the very beginning, and I would click on these links that would come with a lot of Charlotte Mason lessons and stuff. I'd be like, I know that song, but I never heard a thing like that before.
And I'm
Julie Ross: like, Oh my gosh.
Amber Johnston: And so I don't know whether to cover my kids ears or be like, Oh my gosh, what am I doing? And there'll be a couple of times my husband walked by and he's And I'm like, I don't know. That's the link. I was like, okay, listen, kids, I got to explain something to you.
I'm gonna have to break it down. People sing hymns in different ways. And that's not how we sing it. Appreciate that. But let me change the music here. This is how we sing this hymn. I think, and I made a joke about it, but my kids get it. Like they could hear and they understand. And I ended up writing a whole hymn study based on this concept that our children need to hear these words.
These are praise and worship songs from a variety of different people, all the same words. They all feel the same way, but their renditions of how they. And so for, a young white child to be able to hear a gospel version of that song, that's important because if I invite you to come to church with me, and you think that you're about to break out this little, you Black hymn holder and be like, Oh, I'm going to, it's not going to happen.
Cause we're like, And you're going to be like, what is happening here? But I feel like our kids are going to understand more. Cause they're going to be like, you know what? I heard those. My mom has showed me the different ways that people can sing or the same thing with Celtic. I was like, what's that?
Some of my friends, I was like I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. And they showed me things where we'd listen. I was like, is that a bagpipe? And, I, but I love it now, so that exposure like helps us in so many ways. So anyway, I think that, I think there's a lot of beauty in it.
I think it's fun to be, to have fun with it. The way that we do, it's not all serious blame. It's just yo girl, they do it different, but let's talk about that. Yeah. And
Julie Ross: I love that you brought in The concept of stories, because that's huge. That's important. It's just we're wired for stories.
God made us for story, and that is what connects us. It's what connects us to him and it's what connects us to other people, but that there is diversity in everything too. Yeah. Yeah, not just the books. Yeah. Study folk songs are huge in terms of cultural identity.
Amber Johnston: That's so easy in folk songs.
It's so easy. Yeah. And I think that's part of what my message has been in this community has been like, yes, the books. The books. But I started seeing people like, oh yeah, I'm already doing that. They were doing the history books and I'm like, that's good, but what about all of these other things?
. And again, my goal is that it be seamless for our children. So I don't even talk to my children about the things I talk to adults about in this community. My kids don't realize what, the fullness of what I talk about and what I do, because to them it's normal. So I don't want to pull out to them and say, where are we doing all this?
It's black and brown stuff. It's just flows. And so they'll be looking at Rembrandt one term and then they'll turn around and look at Henry O. Tanner the next and they don't see anything wrong or different, not of course not wrong, but they don't even see it as being unique. And to me, that's the experiment.
That's what I'm looking for.
Julie Ross: Yeah. Yeah. But this is just a part, a natural part of what we do. Yeah. Yeah. And this is, yeah, I think that's really a neat way to put it. And I appreciate the resources that you have on heritage mom. com. So people are interested in, getting some of these picture studies.
I believe you have that and the PIMS and, just some. book ideas as well, I think is super important because it can be intimidating because you look at all these lists and you're like, okay these are the established books that are really good. And I know these are going to be great. And my kids are going to grow up and go to college.
If they, we read all this stuff. And then it's okay what do I do now? And you go in the library and some of the books you're like, Whoa, we're not doing that. It can be a little intimidating of where to even start to find good books. So I appreciate that you are curating this kind of selection of.
No, here's some really good books, too. And and again, like I said, like with the public, like there are really great ones that have come out that we didn't have before and don't have that, are telling stories of people who stories weren't being told before. Yeah.
Amber Johnston: But I think it's great.
Yeah, they are. And I think it's getting better and better. And I do like to share because I know that time starved moms, that sometimes their hearts are to do one thing, but their schedules just don't allow it. And so if I can say, Hey, I already pre read all this, like these right here are golden.
I wanted to share that and I get that from other moms. Like I'm giving, but I'm also receiving and I feel like that's part of what makes us a community. Yeah.
Julie Ross: And I had a thought too and tell me what you think that just in terms of, okay, this is something I see as really important.
This is the direction and something I want to kind of change or add onto, or you said expand in your home, like I'm already doing really great things, but now I'm going to expand to this. That as us as moms, like our mother culture, we need to be seeping ourselves in this. So we need to be reading books that are mirrors and we need to be reading books that are windows and our kids need to see that.
Amber Johnston: Yes, absolutely. Because again, if we tell them one thing and they see us doing something else, it's, a small example of that in a different way. I was always reading my Bible on my phone on the app because I would just lay in the morning in the bed. And I would. Turn it on and I'd read my little devotional and read my Bible.
I was doing this for a really long time. And one day, one of my daughters, she was like, why do we have to read Bible every day? And you never do. And I'm like, why would you say that? I read the Bible every single day. And she was like, when? I never see you reading the Bible. And I'm thinking, okay, so she sees me and my phone.
I read, I was reading it every day and
Julie Ross: I was like, I was in
Amber Johnston: a good role here. I was my head, my time with Jesus every morning. And she told me she never saw me reading the Bible. I thought, wow. What if something happened to me that day? And I perish, my child would go away thinking that her mother never read the word.
And so I started switching to a hardcover and your hard copy, like my actual Bible. And just for that very reason. And so I think about the same thing with the books we're talking about these mirrors and windows. If our children don't see us listening to it, or don't know that you're listening on audible or reading these things.
From valuing them. They are just like, Oh, so this is just me checking the box for school, but in real life, we don't really do stuff like that. Correct.
Julie Ross: Yeah. Yeah. I have I had a women's book club and we read the hate you give, and my kids were like, why are you reading a book about hate?
I'm like that's really what the book is about. But it was great because they saw me reading it and I had a hard copy of it and I could like. Say no, this is, I want to read books that are about people that are, I don't understand this girl's life and her experience at all. Like I can barely even picture it.
But I want to read about people that aren't like me and don't have the same life and experiences that I do. And yeah, I think it's super important that they see that being modeled and ties into one of the last chapters where you're talking about allies and accomplices. So can you break that down and then like your vision of what you'd like to see, how people can move forward
Amber Johnston: together?
Sure. Before I do that, I'm going to say one thing about what you said. That's another point. Like sometimes when people will give me a book and they'll say Oh, I have this great idea book for, it's a mirror for you and your kids or whatever. And they'll give me like a book like that. And and I'm like, Hey, girlfriend. That is you're in a lot of ways, right? It's in so many ways, but you, I also want to make sure they understand the nuance that I don't know about her life either. And so I'm learning too. And so even within a race or ethnicity, there are Huge experiences that people haven't had.
And, I think that that's where you get into the nuance and why we don't want to risk. I won't spend a lot of time on this, but we don't want to fall into the trap of a single story. So if you're
Julie Ross: talking about that in the book too, I, yeah, that's a great point.
Amber Johnston: Yeah. The idea that, or if all of their You know, books are tragedy and trauma, or if all of their modern books about black families are urban dealing with, the trauma that comes or the situations of poverty and all of those are real and important.
They should read those, but there are also, there are other aspects of the black community too, so anyway, I thought that was like a really good example where that, where a book can be a mirror and a window at the same time. So for me, that's that book that you've seen, that's a mirror in terms of.
Black culture, but it's a window in terms of socioeconomics and environment. Yes.
Julie Ross: Yeah. And I haven't read books like that for me. White single moms like that live in poverty. I don't understand their situation. We're similar in our circumstances of life and our race, but I don't understand what was the one they turn it into a TV show.
She was like a waitress and she had to clean houses all night. You know what I'm talking
Amber Johnston: about? Yeah, I don't ever think of the name of it, but
Julie Ross: yeah, it was such a, yeah, a mirror in a window and it was very eye opening. For me as well, I think that's good. I don't really understand
Amber Johnston: or relate to.
No, it's like the complexity of all these books. They're actually all mirrors and windows. So allies and accomplices. So my idea is that, we're talking about most of the book I spend on our home, all of the things that we can do. Just. Touch the tip of the iceberg here on our call.
And like there are all of these things and projects and ideas and conversations and books.
Julie Ross: I love that. I meant to touch on that. I love those fun ideas you have in there for projects and things. Yeah, that
Amber Johnston: was great. Yeah. Those are the things that really bring it home for us, literally home.
And but towards the end of the book, I start talking about, home is an incubator, right? It's a place where children are warmed and prepared for life outside. of the home. And so outside of our four walls, what are we looking for our children, from our children? And I think like we're looking for our children, yes, to stand up.
I'm looking for, I am looking for a certain form of activism. And I think people get scared when they hear that. That word at times, because if a parent doesn't feel that activism fire and then they're like, Oh no, I don't want them out there making waves. And I'm like, yeah, making waves. That's what we were looking for in their own way.
All right. So I feel like my parenting style is a form of activism. I feel like our bookshelves. Our forms of activism. It's not always something that's loud, right? And for some people, it will be, we're all different. Our children are all different, but we're looking for them to go out and make change to, to create change and to bond with other people and to be willing to stand.
Beside in front of and behind at different times, others to support their causes, even if they don't see the immediate benefit to them or their own people. And so for me, I'm looking, the ultimate goal of the book is that we raise children who say that nothing's okay until it's okay for all of us.
Yeah. And that to me is the real goal, right? That's the whole crescendo is not just to have well cultured children. Who experienced a nice education in childhood and are good people, but that they're going forward with confidence and the ability to help make the world and the specific circumstances of other people better.
Julie Ross: I think that's what we're looking for. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. And I think sometimes it can be hard to go, okay how can I help people? This person they're struggling with this and they believe in this cause or they, I don't understand, maybe their religion or what they're doing, but I know that they're being persecuted in our community.
I want to help. And sometimes it'd be like, I don't know what to do. How do I help? And sometimes it's just, yeah. Asking, right? Yeah. I'll understand everything. I don't need to understand everything, but what will help you?
Amber Johnston: And I think also teaching our children, it's the asking. And then this is a really important thing because I think it's for adults as well.
That the help, like Purifying your heart as you help so that the attention that you may get is not important to you. You mentioned that
Julie Ross: in the book.
Amber Johnston: I think it's so because it's really good to help. Look at me, I'm helping. Yeah, we feel good. I get it. I've been there. I felt that too. Oh my gosh, I served at the soup kitchen today.
Or whatever. And that is good that you served, but I try to intentionally. Bring we do a lot of service in our family. It's an important aspect of who we are, but a lot of times things that there are things that give no glory. No one is coming to tell my kids they did a good job. Cause no one even knows what they did.
And that can be difficult even for the kids. Cause they're like, like I did all of this and mama, they're not even going to know. And I'm like, it doesn't matter. They're not going to know who, but specifically, but they're going to know what, and they're going to know that someone cared. So when you're doing things, you do things anonymously, or you're doing things at home that you're dropping off so that someone else can use it.
And they're getting attention and glory for that work. Even though you were working behind the scenes the whole time. That I really like having those opportunities for my kids because I want them to understand it ain't about you. This is not about you. Okay. This is about a collective us. And so our part is not always going to be visible and yet we're going to do it anyway and we're going to do it well.
And that's biblical too, but it plays out differently when, they're used to getting the pats on the back. Yeah.
Julie Ross: And I think it's important too, because as you read these stories, I think you have built empathy and understanding of other people in our natural desire is to want to help.
Yes. Because we actually have an understanding and or a willingness to listen. Yeah,
Amber Johnston: it's true. And yeah, we have, yeah, the asking the listening the humility. We had it was really very briefly, there was a mom that I was mentoring. She is a single mom with young children and just really struggling.
They were living in their car. And honestly, I was like, Oh, I got this. A mom with young kids. I can help her so much. And I was like, come to my house. Everything's going to be fine. We're going to find you a place to live and a job and all of this stuff. A whole time. My husband's given me a major side eye and I'm like, I am so sure like that this is going to be helpful.
And I really wanted to help, but it just. Like it was going on and on and things just weren't getting better. And now we're like six years out from that situation. And they're not homeless, but their lives don't look the way that I would see as being like a success. It wasn't what I pictured as being this major turnaround, but we're still in deep.
Friendship and relationship. And after all this time, what I found, what she needs most from me is not a fixer, but a friend. And so someone to talk to someone to trust someone that sometimes will take you to Olive Garden. That's her favorite restaurant. And just when she's having a really bad day. And she I can't fix it to make her life look like mine, but I can be there for her.
So that's like an example where I was trying to solve what I thought was the problem. And I was really doing it. Cause Oh, I totally know how to take care of little kids and I can teach them all this stuff. But in reality, the thing that she comes to me most for is a real hugs and conversation.
Julie Ross: That's beautiful. Yes. I love some hugs and conversation too. I wish I could give you a hug. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today. And I am really excited because I think this is a really important conversation for people to keep having. And thank you for giving us kind of direction and some tools to make some difference in our homes, because that is how.
How things change, right? We change the next generation and they think differently and they do differently. Tell us about the pre order specials. So the book isn't out yet. So this is almost April. Yeah. It comes out in the middle of May.
Amber Johnston: Yes, it comes out May 17th but I'm asking everyone to pre order.
That's I know for some of us that are older, we're like, what's up with this whole pre ordering thing, but it's like a whole thing now. And it sends a lot of signals to the
Julie Ross: line at Barnes and Noble at midnight.
Amber Johnston: I know they're so used to it. And I'm just like, the first time I heard someone say pre order, I'm like, But why would I do that?
So anyway, there are some incentives to pre order because it is very helpful to the author and publisher as well. But there's a form on my book website, aplacetobelongbook. com. And if you pre order from wherever you'd like, any retailer and fill out the form there, you will receive a choice between my newest heritage pack, which is called Joyful Generations.
55 pages of all kinds of multicultural goodness books and videos and poetry and art and all that. Or heritage hymns too, which I just talked a little bit about and they'll get a code to go and choose any of my existing heritage packs off of my website. Yeah, the value of what they get the same cost or more than the book.
So Just paying people back, yeah, and saying thank you. And there are more goodies to come that I haven't announced and everyone who already ordered, will go back and they'll also receive everything else that's coming too. Okay.
Julie Ross: So they can buy the book wherever, but they just go a place to belong book.
com to get the bonuses for pre order. Correct. And then if people want to find out more about you and some of the books and some of these packs that you offer, that's at heritage mom. com.
Amber Johnston: Yes. Heritage mom. com. It's my website and I offer lots of goodies there. Most of it's free. Take a look and they can connect with me on Instagram at heritage mom blog.
Yeah.
Julie Ross: I love your. Your Instagram and oh my gosh, the picture of you on Christianity Today was stunning.
Amber Johnston: Absolutely. Yes. It's made my whole year so far. I love it.
Julie Ross: I hope you blow it up and put it over the fireplace.
Amber Johnston: I know. That's all my like other Charlotte Mason nerds are like, yo, you got the pink volumes in the picture.
Julie Ross: I'm like, mine are all duct taped together. Nobody wants to take a picture of them, but yeah, it was stunning. So I'm very happy for you. And yeah, so I encourage everyone to go check that out and thank you again for taking the time
Hey there, Julie Ross here. I just wanted to say thank you for listening to today's episode. If you like this show, it would mean the world to me. If you would leave a positive review in iTunes, this really does help people learn about the podcast and each month I will pick a winner to receive a free gift. Don't forget to check out all the free resources we created for you at thefeastlife. me. Thank you.
